As I lay here in bed, I wonder what has brought me to this place. Listening to my iPod through my ears, I can still hear the yelling through the walls. The pounding on the walls and shrieks coming from kitchen down the hall. I can do nothing about it each and every day. I can have what I want, books, shoes, everything, but I cant see my mothers happiness. I don’t want to see this anymore. My heart pounds faster and harder, I think its coming out of my chest.
I remove the syringe and throw the emptiness away into a corner where I don’t need to see it or feel it anymore. It releases me. I stumble as I stand up remembering my brother toy helicopter on the floor. He lays in his bed across the room sleeping, and I can see the place where the river of tears cleaned his face and showed his true colors. I want everything to be like in the books I read. I want life and love to flourish in this household, but it seems impossible if he giving her black blues that she thinks I don’t notice. We’ll see who is stronger than the other. No way you can get away without pay back this time. There’s no way. Feeling the cold metal of the gun touching my waist, I make my way out of the room.
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