journal 8: draft 1

Synopsis:
This story is about a man who was in a war, and he was surrounded and he had tried to kill himself in the battlefield. He awoken in consciousness later and realized he had a minor injury and will heal shortly afterwards. He comes home depressed and has to go through the divorce of his wife because of his PTSD and the death of his mother. He misses his child in all of this and wants to just give up on life. He tries to kill himself but he fails. He drives away to another town to drink his troubles away and once he is highly intoxicated, he passes out in the bar. He enters a short coma where he feels as if he is feeling lighter. He has a glimpse into the war zone and how people looked up to him as a leader and after seeing what he had done, they started to lose hope as well. He saw how the divorce will actually pull them apart but he tries to make it be comfortable with them both. He starts anew again.

This war left me scarred and broken. It left me torn and unfixable. My comrades, whom have grown to be my new family, have died beside me as gunshots fire everywhere at any given point of the day. We were slowly surrounded and there was no hope to live because we were trapped. My thoughts led me to the worst, and not knowing whether to live by my comrades or grovel in my own demise, I felt the heavy weight of the gun in my hands that was grounding me. Locked and loaded, I aimed and fired.
The only thing that I could remember was the white light and the peace and tranquility that I had felt. I was finally away from this all. Color began to enter slowly through the white background and I fell back into reality where I was placed. I wonder where I am. The sharp pain I felt on my shoulder pulls me back to reality instantly as I try to see what was beside me. Gloomy faces, distraught and ruined by the reality of battle.
Waking in the middle of the night, screaming in pain, never feeling safe, sweat rolls down my face as I cannot escape this nightmare. I spend every moment at home feeling vulnerable and surrounded.